Where do we start with this investigation into what is our true nature? We start from this very clear and obvious ‘fact’ of your own being here and now - I am. Start there, and don’t move away from there into the mental concept of time. Hold fast to this ‘I am presence’, without adding any extraneous words or concepts. Every word you’ve ever spoken has been learned or acquired, after the age of two and a half years and onwards. There is no word or concept that is your natural state.
The young child prior to the age of two years does not have any words or concepts, as the language has not yet been learned or picked up from the parents and others at that stage. However the child is still functioning quite effortlessly and spontaneously without any words or concepts. What does this tell us? You don’t have to be a genius to realize that these learned responses – words and concepts, are not necessary or essential to this natural effortless functioning of the life-force essence.
This spontaneous natural knowing, I am, is the base and foundation of every apparent thing. Have you noticed that this ever-present activity of knowing, expressing through the mind as the thought or concept “I am”, is the only constant? Can you remember a time when this awareness was not present there with you, so to speak? As far back as you can remember wasn’t this ‘knowing’ that you are always present, and, might I add, from direct knowing realization here, actually Omnipresent, timeless, and unceasing?
The actual functioning memory of a so called sentient human being only begins from around the age of four to five years old. Before this period the memory of the child is absent. If one were to pose the question to any living human being – How were you, and what was your shape, condition and appearance, prior to conception in the womb of your mother? How were you, and what was your condition or identity one hundred or more years back?
A possible educated(read conditioned)response to this necessary question and enquiry might be – “That would be nothing but an idle speculation; or, I don’t know, or I don’t remember how I was six months prior to conception in the womb. Yet, even then, there is a ‘knowing’ that you don’t know your condition prior to conception. Do you see the very subtlety of this fact? You see, that is the very ignorance that is being pointed out here! You must know this, otherwise there will always be fear and psychological suffering there, if you don’t know who and what you truly and ever are.
If you don’t know, if you are not intimate with your deathless essence – This ever-present, unqualified immediacy – THIS very ‘fact’ of your own being here and now; which through inadvertence you are ignoring, then there will be the constant fear of death; the fear of ending, the fear of being nothing – THIS awake, aware, no thing that you truly and ever ‘are’. You see, “you”, the acquired and imagined entity “me”, Mr or Mrs So and So, don’t want to be nothing – pure consciousness. THIS ever-present emptiness suffused with naked non conceptual knowing; and so through ignorance or what we call Maya or illusion in Advaita; you are very actively and even consciously ignoring your natural state or glassy essence, and taking yourself to be something that you are not; and that is this impermanent, perishable body-mind vehicle or appearance. In other words you are taking the appearance – this universe of phenomena, to be the Real, all the while ignoring the Noumenon or the unmanifest non dual Absolute which is the actual Real and unchanging principle – the truly living conscious presence, the I am principle.
This is what needs to be seen by nobody. There is no entity there who has ever done anything at all. Nothing ever really happened, it only ‘appeared ‘ to. I am telling you from direct knowing here, that you are not what you are presently taking yourself to be. You are not a limited time-bound human being at all. You are not the body or the mind. If you are not the body or the mind, then what are you? Ask yourself this. If you are not the body and the acquired time-bound mind, then what are you? Are you conscious as you are reading or hearing this?
Well, if you are conscious, which you quite obviously are, then aren’t you the ever-present, impersonal consciousness that the body and mind are appearing in? You say ‘my hat’, ‘my coat’, ‘my body’, ‘my mind’ etc. Are you your hat, your coat, your body, or your mind? No, you can’t be, simply because you are conscious or aware of your hat, then you are not your hat, but rather the ever-present, formless, nameless consciousness that cognizes the hat, coat, etc. Has this ever occurred to you?
How did I get to the truth that I prevail everlastingly? By looking to see from where, and how and why this “I” thought arose. How did this happen, the appearance of this limited, body-mind existence? How did this happen or occur without my permission? I was told that my name is So and So, and that I was born at such and such a time, and that at some future time I am going to pass away.
I have fully investigated this and found it to be utterly false. If I haven’t been born, how am I going to die? I don’t remember being born, I have no actual recollection of it. The reason is, is that it never happened in the first place. Also I won’t know when I have taken my last breath either. Others will say, I am dead, but is that really so? Have I really been born, am I going to die? The answer is – no, I am not born, nor do I ever die. I prevail infinitely and eternally - I am THAT I am. I won’t know that I am dead, but I will still be there as this naked non conceptual knowing - I am, infinitely and eternally. This I am is Omnipresent, Omnipotent, and Omniscient and I am THAT! Don’t be afraid to say it. Say it out loud – I am THAT! and I can’t possibly be anything separate or apart from THAT, for there is only THAT! This is the very truth and actuality of non duality, and there is no duality in this, and there never has been and there never possibly could be. Birth and death are only concepts, they are not real or actual. Life and death are also only concepts, there is no one who ever lived or died, there is only THAT changeless, deathless, essence or consciousness, and you are THAT. THAT is what you truly and ever ‘are’, and you need to realize it for yourself, I can go on saying this forever, but it won’t do you a bit of good unless you SEE this for yourself. I am not the only one, there have been others down throughout the ages who have SEEN this and passed it on to so called others.
What was born was this concept, ‘I am’; and of course no one can grasp “I”, as it is only an utterly insubstantial thought or concept, so in order to give it some apparent substance one then adds to it all the events and experiences that occurred from early childhood onwards, and then says – this is what I am – this human being that you see before you, this body of flesh and bones is only and solely what I am, and not the all pervading, formless consciousness, without which nothing could be or appear.
You see the trick that has been played upon you? Do you see this utter fraud or Maya that has been perpetrated upon your true nature or natural state be the parents, friends, and society in general? Everything that appears in the consciousness is Maya or illusion. Nothing was created in the first place, nothing ever happened, and Reality is that which never changes. Your body is constantly changing, cells are dying in it and being replaced constantly. You have not got the same body now that you had a few days ago. Millions of cells have died in it and been replaced without your doing anything about it.
You are being lived effortlessly and spontaneously by this animating life essence, awareness, or intelligence. There is no entity there that has ever done anything of its own volition. This everlasting life essence, this non dual Absolute is what you truly and ever are. There is no death in this life or natural state. Life does not know death. Life is everlasting, a spontaneous movement and expression and therefore without duration or volume, an endless, timeless movement without beginning or ending.
This is the ever lasting LIFE that is referred to in the scriptures. Whosoever knoweth ME(this ordinary, everyday, awareness or consciousness) shall not perish, but shall have everlasting life. HERE it is right here and now – this ‘fact’ of your own being, which you cannot under any circumstances negate. You cannot say – I am not. If you did, who would be saying it? Realize that I am the way, the truth, and the LIFE. Don’t wait another minute longer, take this from my hands right now and realize, directly know; don’t think, because that is just bananas. Know for yourself the maha vakya or great word of Hinduism – I am THAT! Thou art THAT! All this is THAT! There is only THAT Supreme Reality or non dual Absolute, and you are THAT, full stop! Stay there and simply ‘be’ what you truly are, abide eternally as THAT.
Notes from Kings Cross Monday 2nd February 2015. Next Post:
Notes from Kings Cross – Saturday 1st August, 2015